Love doesn’t mean blindly accepting our family members’ flaws. It’s because we love our family so much that we need to confront them when they get way out of line. Love means helping our relatives be better people, no matter how awkward and difficult the conversations are. And redditor Classic-Goose-8228 showed the internet that you sometimes have to do undiplomatic things to get your message across.
The 60-year-old redditor shared how her daughter-in-law’s mental health had been deteriorating because her husband, the redditor’s son, wouldn’t help around the house. At all! He convinced her to be a stay-at-home mom for their three kids, however, he’s unwilling to pitch in and help out with the chores. Despite the fact that his own mom and dad would split the housework fairly.
The redditor wanted to protect her daughter-in-law, so she shamed her own son in front of his friends when he continued putting his own welfare above hers. She then asked Reddit’s AITA community for a verdict whether what she did was right or wrong. Have a read through the entire story below and let us know what you think, dear Pandas.
A redditor confronted her son in front of his friends because he was putting his own interests above those of his wife and family
Image credits: Flickr (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Classic-Goose-8228
Previously, I spoke about the need for equality at home and sharing housework with award-winning activist and writer Elizabeth Arif-Fear.
“A woman should not be expected to be responsible for the home just because she is a woman. A couple needs to discuss chores based on working hours outside of the home and any other caring responsibilities that affect schedules and workloads,” she told Bored Panda in an earlier interview.
“If both partners are working full-time then they should be sharing the housework equally. Sadly, research shows that women still do more housework than men even when working. On a practical level, if a couple is committed to an equal level of partnership, drawing up a chore timetable can be useful, as can designating roles by working out who does what based on their likes and strengths,” she said.
“The woman deserves better and in this case, real communication, counseling, and reflection for deep change are needed around her role in the relationship. Change is possible—with communication and a division of chores if her partner is ready to change (and actively believes in this), but I would urge her to reflect on her role in and the value of the relationship,” Elizabeth told Bored Panda.
The author of the thread posted some additional info about what she told her son during the confrontation
“In today’s world, looking after the home and/or children is a full-time job in itself and such work needs to be shared. Families often have to rely on two incomes and women have the right to pursue professional goals—something which their spouse should encourage as part of an equal partnership,” the expert went into detail about the division of housework.
“Being financially dependent on a man is not a healthy or safe option. Spouses must be equal in opportunities and shared duties. As working patterns have shifted with the economy in the past decades, outdated sexist attitudes also need to shift. A women’s role is where she wants to be—just like a man’s. It’s not her job to pick up or look after male relatives/spouses. If she chooses to stay at home as the family is financially able to manage on one wage, that must be the couple’s joint decision. Even then, there must be mutual respect, sharing of responsibility, and a fair equitable division of chores.”
Elizabeth also told Bored Panda about some exceptions. “Unless her partner is ill or there are other specific circumstances, change is needed. In such cases of illness or other circumstances (finances permitting), I would suggest bringing in home help such as a cleaner. A couple may decide to pay a cleaner, but this cannot make up for sexist expectations brought upon the woman. In a partnership, a couple should be equal.”
Most people thought that the mom did the right thing by standing up for her daughter-in-law
Source link : https://www.boredpanda.com/mother-in-law-son-marriage-parenting-daughter-in-law/
