Dani Barretto says giving back to parents should be voluntary, not obligatory

Dani Barretto aired her sentiment about a child’s act of giving back to their parents, saying it should be done out of love and own will, not out of obligation.

The celebrity mom spoke about the subject with social media personality Chardie B in her “Bare It All” podcast episode entitled “The Difference Between Utang na Loob and Giving Back,” uploaded on Spotify last March 29.

A highlight from the episode—which bannered the phrase “Toxic Filipino Culture: Utang na loob sa magulang”—was then shared by Barretto on her TikTok page, earning mixed reactions from netizens.

“Hindi ka pwedeng magkaroon ng utang na loob sa isang bagay na dapat nilang gawin para sa’yo,” Barretto said in the clip.

“The other things maybe, like maybe they sacrificed this to be able to give you this life—I get na utang na loob na fact ‘yon. But kasi, there are some people that uses that against people. Parang ‘Pinaaral kita, pinaganito kita, ganyan so dapat ganito ‘yung binibigay mo sa akin,’” she continued.

Barretto underscored that it’s the parents’ responsibility to provide for their children, and that this should not be used against the latter to force them to support their parents financially.

“I’m a mom now. I can say that. I’m required to give my kid the life that she deserves right now until she’s able to do it on her own,” she stated.

“Let’s say she has her own family, I can’t require my kid na ‘Kailangan mo akong bigyan ng allowance kasi pinaaral kita.’ At one point, you have to fly,” she added.

While some agreed with Barretto and shared her sentiment, there were others who believe the opposite.

Barretto then made a clarification on her point in a separate video, stressing she didn’t say that one should not give back or support their parents when they’re older.

“Because meron pa rin pong toxic Filipino culture dito sa ating bansa na inoobliga o nire-require nila ‘yung mga anak nila suportahan sila, buhayin sila dahil sinusumbat nila sa mga anak nila na pinaaral sila, pinakain sila, they put a roof over their heads,” she said.

Barretto also deems it “unfair” for such to be used by parents against their children, who also have their own lives or families to support as well as goals to achieve.

“Giving back is because mahal mo ‘yung mga magulang mo, you want to spoil them, gusto mo silang bigyan ng magandang buhay, gusto mong iparamdam sa kanila ‘yung pagmamahal na binigay nila sa’yo. You wanna give back out of love, hindi dahil sinumbat nila sa’yo lahat,” she stated.

“‘Yung mga sakripisyo and ginawa ng mga magulang natin para sa atin, normal naman po na magpasalamat tayo, nai-spoil natin ‘yung magulang natin for it. I am for that,” she said.