Weddings should be one of the most unforgettable days in a woman’s life. Unfortunately, it wasn’t the case for former teen actress Lindsay Custodio. Her happiness turned into disappointment on the day she tied the knot with her second husband.
In an exclusive interview she had with PEP.ph, Lindsay narrated how her 2022 wedding with non-showbiz partner Frederick Cale triggered all the realizations she needed to move away from their relationship.
It’s not every day you’ll see a bride walking around in her wedding dress, so it can be a sight to see a woman in this situation. Lindsay revealed that after the wedding ceremony, she and Frederick went straight to the bank. Lindsay claimed that Frederick asked her to deposit all the checks they received as wedding gifts. Her new husband allegedly needed the cash to pay off credit card debt.
“Nag-open kami ng joint bank account prior to our church wedding. Nag-insist siyang pumunta kami sa bangko after the church wedding ceremony,” she began narrating to PEP.ph. “Ang mga tseke sa bangko na-clear na at cash gifts ang pinambayad sa credit card niya.”
She admitted that her partner used his credit card to pay for the wedding necessities. But Lindsay was taken aback after discovering that her husband planned to pay for his personal credit card bills using the money they received as wedding gifts.
“I was against it talaga. I was expecting na nag-offer siya ng kasal so he should be prepared for it. I-aasa lang pala niya dun sa mga cash gift sa kasal,” she declared.
What was even more upsetting for Lindsay was when Frederick asked her to withdraw money from her personal account to pay for the credit card bills. She even had to beg him to spare her money from her personal account because she allotted it as her emergency fund.
“Bigla niyang [Frederick] ipina-open, nagtanong siya sa teller kung may personal account under my name. Sabi niya, ‘Ay, hindi. I-withdraw mo ‘yan. Dapat diyan ibayad mo sa credit card,'” Lindsay stated.
She frankly told PEP.ph how embarrassed she was at the bank because they might have caught the customers’ attention inside the branch. After all, she was still wearing her wedding gown, and her groom was seconds away from making a scene.
“Nagulat ako, pero I was composed kasi nahihiya ako dahil ang daming tao sa bangko. Baka makunan pa kami ng video dahil nakasuot pa nga ako ng wedding gown kaya hindi ko siya kinuwestiyon,” she said in defeat.
Despite realizing what kind of a man her new husband was, Lindsay still proceeded to their reception—where the same thing also occurred. Frederick also accounted for more cash gifts and used them as payment for additional expenses at the venue, according to Lindsay.
“Dun naman po sa reception, after the program was done, kinuha niya rin ang cash gifts na ibinigay sa amin at ‘yun ang ipinambayad niya sa [additional] expenses. To make it worse, it was witnessed by some of our guests and principal sponsors. Hiyang-hiya po talaga ako sa sarili ko,” she recalled.
Lindsay added, “Nagsisisi na ako noon, ‘Bakit ganito yung napangasawa ko?’“
Lindsay Custodio files complaint against Frederick Cale
In a report by PEP.ph, Lindsay divulged that she filed a complaint under the Anti-Violence Against Women and their Children Act against Frederick. However, no other details were revealed.
Frederick was Lindsay’s second husband after her first husband passed away in 2018. Within their short-lived marriage, the couple had a long-distance relationship as Frederick was based in Canada.
Lindsay stopped all communications with him in June 2023. At present, their marriage remains valid despite their flawed relationship. Nonetheless, Lindsay’s eagerness to file charges against her estranged husband is deemed to be the start of her “healing process.”
How to talk about money with your partner
One could argue that Lindsay could have gotten to know her second husband more before tying the knot. But, FYI, sometimes, red flags aren’t that easy to spot in relationships. As unfortunate as it may seem, sometimes it takes a huge event, like a wedding, to see the warning signs.
More often than not, money matters become a breaking point for couples. It’s a difficult conversation, nonetheless, financial status and money problems should be discussed early on. Couples should have a clear vision of how they would want to handle their expenses and financial obligations before getting married. People earn money through hard work, so it’s helpful to set distinct rules on his money and yours.
Planning your financial obligations as a couple does not guarantee a happy marriage. Other factors would come into play and affect your relationship—like your intimacy toward each other, beliefs, perspectives, and even the environment where you both work. However, discussing money helps discover individual goals and values and how they align as a couple. It won’t hurt to be open about money, especially for couples building their future together. It’s better to be clear than regretful in the end.
What to do if you found the red flags “too late”
We’re only human and TBH, some people are just good at hiding their red flags at the beginning of a relationship. When you’ve found yourself in a sticky situation, the first thing you should do is find a supporting, trustworthy group. These may be your parents, siblings, best friend, or manager. Ask for their help so they can guide you in leaving the situation or relationship. If you need protection from an ex-partner, it’s best to consult a lawyer or approach the Women’s helpdesk at the police station.
Don’t beat yourself up if you ever missed your partner’s red flags. TherapyJeff of TikTok reminds us that failing is part of being human. These negative experiences do not define who you are but will help you grow into a better individual. You, out of everyone in your support group, should be the most understanding and loving of yourself.
Congratulate yourself for walking away and standing up for yourself—regardless of the time that has passed. You’re on your way to healing and self-improvement.
