Chelsea Handler roasts ex Jo Koy after his Golden Globes flop, jokes about Saltburn star Barry Keoghan’s manhood and quips about THAT Meg Ryan orgasm scene in raunchy opening monologue
Chelsea Handler roasted ex-boyfriend Jo Koy during her very raunchy opener at the 29th Annual Critics Choice Awards, held at Barker Hangar in Santa Monica on Sunday.
The comedian, 48, was the host of the star-studded ceremony, and took the chance to take a jab at her ex, 52, following his recent Golden Globes flop.
After she got the audience laughing by saying she would ‘toss’ legendary filmmaker Martin Scorsese, 81, like ‘a little Italian meatball’ she quipped, ‘thank you for laughing at that. My writers wrote it.’
It was a pointed remark at Koy, who notoriously blamed his writers onstage after failing to get laughs from the Golden Globes audience, saying, ‘I wrote some of these and they’re the ones you’re laughing at.’
During her opener Handler also joked about Saltburn star Barry Keoghan’s manhood and referenced Meg Ryan‘s famous orgasm scene from When Harry Met Sally.
Chelsea Handler roasted ex-boyfriend Jo Koy during her very raunchy opener at the 29th Annual Critics Choice Awards, held at Barker Hangar in Santa Monica on Sunday
The comedian, 48, was the host of the star-studded ceremony, and took the chance to take a jab at her ex, 52, following his Golden Globes flop
At one point in her opener, she stated: ‘And now, it’s time to talk about the horniest movie of the year Saltburn’ as the camera panned to Keoghan.
‘There he is. Barry Keoghan was horny for men, women, bath water, and cemeteries.’
‘Featuring men in various states of undress. Most male actors use prosthetics, so thank you, Barry, for keeping it real, and please thank your penis for its service,’ she added.
She then praised Barbie star Margot Robbie: ‘By the way, Margot Robbie produced Saltburn, so you’re a dirty Barbie, and I like it. Which means Margot is responsible for not one, but two spirited dance numbers this year.’
Chelsea joked that ‘2023 was one of the horniest years for movies and TV. Everybody was horny for everything. Ali Wong was horny in Beef, Rachel Sennott was horny in Bottoms, Leonardo Dicaprio and Robert De Niro were horny for land, Cillian Murphy was horny for uranium, and 2023 was the year that everyone became horny for Pedro Pascal.’
‘And, of course, in Poor Things, Emma Stone was horny for an apple and pretty much anything else that came her way.’
That brought Chelsea to Meg Ryan’s famous scene from the 1989 rom-com classic, as she quipped: ‘That movie had so many on-screen orgasms even Meg Ryan was like, take it down a notch, girl. You’re not in a deli.’
The camera then panned to Meg who was pictured laughing.
Chelsea later addressed Harrison Ford, 81, and Robert De Niro, 80, while talking about her preference for older men.
Chelsea Handler roasts everyone during Critics Choice Awards
After she got the audience laughing by saying she would ‘toss’ legendary filmmaker Martin Scorsese , 81, like ‘a little Italian meatball’ she said, ‘thank you for laughing at that. My writers wrote it’
It was a pointed remark at Koy, who notoriously blamed his writers onstage after failing to get laughs from the Golden Globes audience, saying, ‘I wrote some of these and they’re the ones you’re laughing at’
Koy has been blasted on social media for his dreadful opening monologue following his host duties at the 2024 Golden Globes (pictured)
During her opener Handler also joked about Saltburn star Barry Keoghan’s manhood and referenced Meg Ryan ‘s famous orgasm scene from When Harry Met Sally
At one point in her opener, she stated: ‘And now, it’s time to talk about the horniest movie of the year Saltburn’ as the camera panned to Keoghan
‘There he is. Barry Keoghan was horny for men, women, bath water, and cemeteries. Most male actors use prosthetics, so thank you, Barry, for keeping it real, and please thank your penis for its service,’ she added
She then praised Barbie star Margot Robbie: ‘By the way, Margot Robbie produced Saltburn, so you’re a dirty Barbie, and I like it’
Chelsea also joked about 2023 being one of the ‘horniest’ years for movies, and references Emma Stone in Poor Things: ‘She was horny for an apple and pretty much anything else that came her way’
That brought Chelsea to Meg Ryan’s (pictured) famous scene from the 1989 rom-com classic, as she quipped: ‘That movie had so many on-screen orgasms even Meg Ryan was like, take it down a notch, girl. You’re not in a deli’
Chelsea later addressed Harrison Ford, 81, and Robert De Niro, 80, while talking about her preference for older men
‘I don’t know which one of you is more of a smokeshow, but you both have been so hot for decades and just keep getting hotter. It’s enough already’
‘I know you’re both spoken for, so I’m not hitting on you. But I am hitting on you,’ she added, while Harrison’s wife Calista Flockhart, 59, laughed
‘The casts of May/December and Killers of the Flower Moon are here. This is where most comedians would make some sort of May/December joke about Leonardo Dicaprio’s dating preferences, but I’m not going to do that. I actually have the same affliction as you, but in the opposite direction.’
‘I prefer my men old and hot men who have been alive since the railway was invented. Speaking of which, Robert Deniro and Harrison Ford are here. I’m looking at the two of you.’
‘I don’t know which one of you is more of a smokeshow, but you both have been so hot for decades and just keep getting hotter. It’s enough already.’
‘I know you’re both spoken for, so I’m not hitting on you. But I am hitting on you,’ she added, while Harrison’s wife Calista Flockhart, 59, laughed.
She also addressed Oppenheimer’s Cillian Murphy calling him ‘atomic-bomb Ken.’
‘I don’t want to reduce anyone’s work here tonight to their sex appeal, but I see you over there, you peaky little blinder. I know you’re not old, but you will be someday, and I’ll be waiting.’
Later she kept the laughs coming by turning to Bradley Cooper as she congratulated him for doing an amazing job on playing Leonard Bernstein in Maestro.
‘Bradley spent 6 years preparing for this role, learning to conduct. I’m not sure what he’s doing over there tonight, but I guess we’ll find out in 2030,’ she joked.
Chelsea started out her monologue telling the audience: ‘Tonight, we’re here to celebrate all the brilliant movies and TV shows in 2023 that didn’t get shelved for a tax write-off.’
She went on: ‘We’ve all been through a lot this year and I don’t intend to put you through more, so think of me as your good time doula. There’s a party growing inside of you and I’m here to help you birth it.’
She then referenced the 2023 SAG-AFTRA strikes, telling the audience: ‘Of course, nobody had a harder time this year than studio executives who were forced to vacation for six consecutive months in a row. But the strikes are over and we are back and better than ever.’
