An emotional Claudine Barretto spoke about her close relationship with the late Jaclyn Jose, whom the former calls “Nanay” (Mother), admitting she feels “guilt” and has “regrets” over the latter’s death.
Claudine said this after she was asked by comedian-showbiz reporter Ogie Diaz about her initial reaction upon learning about the veteran actress’ death.
“Natulala. Sinabi nila sa akin mga 12 or 1 a.m.—parang okay lang ako. Actually, nakatulog pa ako nang maayos in shock,” Claudine answered, as seen on Diaz’s YouTube vlog on Thursday, March 7.
(I was shocked. They informed me at around 12 or 1 a.m.—and I still felt okay at the time. Actually, I was even able to sleep soundly.)
“Pero hindi ko alam na the next day, pagkagising ko, nagsisisigaw na ako. Parang bagong nalaman ko lang; parang akala ko, ‘Ay, pag itinulog ko ‘to, bukas wala na’—gano’n siguro ‘yung grieving mechanism ko,” she continued.
(Then when I woke up the next day, I was screaming. It was as if I had just learned about her death. Maybe I thought to myself, “If I sleep now, this will all be gone tomorrow”—maybe that was my grieving mechanism.)
Claudine recalled immediately rushing to Jose’s home which is just 11 houses away from her residence. Unfortunately, Jose was no longer in her house when Claudine came.
“Marami akong regrets kasi ako ‘yung number one sa emergency call niya,” she said. “Tapos ‘yun nga, ang tawag [niya] sa akin panganay. Aakyat siya sa kwarto ko pag galing taping kasi palagi siyang malungkot at nag-iisa.”
(I have lots of regrets because I was number one on her emergency-call list, and she also treated me as her eldest child. She would always visit me in my room after her taping because she was sad and alone.)
“Sana masamang bangungot lang ito… Pero kailangan ko maging strong para kay Andi at Gwen,” she said, referring to Jose’s children, actress Andi Eigenmann and Gwen Garimond. (I wish this is all just a bad dream. But I need to be strong for Andi and Gwen.)
Recalling more of her mother-and-daughter moments with Jose, Claudine revealed she was reprimanded by the late actress when she got into a scuffle with her sisters during their dad Miguel Barretto’s wake.
Claudine also disclosed that Jose had been giving her money for “emergency” purposes even when the younger actress refused to accept it.
“Hindi ko siya naramdaman for the first time na may pinagdadaanan. Three months ko siyang hindi nakausap,” Claudine told Diaz. (I didn’t feel that she was going through something. I was not able to talk with her for three months.)
“Buong buhay ko nando’n siya para sa akin. Ang gusto niya lang mahalin siya, ‘wag siya maging lonely,” she continued, adding how she would always send her helper to Jose’s house to accompany her. “Ewan ko bakit nung araw na ‘yon, hindi siya nagsabi na walang tao do’n sa bahay [nila]—kaya malaki ang guilt ko.”
(All my life, she had always been there for me. All she wanted was to be loved and to not be lonely… I’m still clueless why she didn’t inform me that day that she was alone in her house—that’s why I feel guilty.)
Claudine and Jose worked together in numerous films including “Mula sa Puso,” Ikaw ang Lahat sa Akin” and “Dahil Mahal na Mahal Kita.”
Jose died of a heart attack on March 2 at the age of 60, as confirmed by Andi in a press conference. The award-winning actress’ wake is being held at Arlington Memorial Chapels in Quezon City.
