Not even because I was angry.

I was crying because, for the first time since we started trying to have children, I felt completely alone.

"Living It Up Before Diaper Duty"

My mother arrived less than an hour later.

The moment she saw my face, she knew something was wrong.

"Where's Trevor?"

"Beach."

She stared at me.

"What?"

"He left this morning."

"Left where?"

"The beach."

"How long?"

"Five days."

My mother didn't speak.

She simply closed her eyes.

Then she took a deep breath.

"That boy has lost his mind."

I almost smiled.

Almost.

The next afternoon, my phone buzzed.

Trevor.

A photograph.

He was lying beneath a large beach umbrella wearing sunglasses.

Behind him was blue water.

His caption said:

Living it up before diaper duty 😂

I stared at the screen.

My mother looked over.

"What did he send?"

I handed her the phone.

She read it.

Then looked at me.

"Do you want me to throw the phone away?"

Despite everything, I laughed.

It was the first laugh I'd had all day.

"No."

"Good."

"Because I might need it to call the hospital."

She smiled.

Then she said something that stayed with me.

"You don't have to decide what this means today."

"What?"

"What kind of husband he is. What kind of father he'll be. Whether your marriage can survive this. You don't have to solve your whole life while you're thirty-six weeks pregnant with twins."

I nodded.

She was right.

For the moment, I just needed to get through the surgery.

The Day Everything Changed

The C-section went well.

The twins arrived healthy.

A boy and a girl.

When I heard their cries, something inside me broke open.

I cried so hard I couldn't speak.

My mother cried too.

And for several minutes, Trevor's absence didn't matter.

I held my daughter first.

She was tiny.

Perfect.

Then they brought my son.