When Someone in the Family Passes Away: Why You Should Never Keep These 4 Relics

Losing a loved one is one of life’s most emotionally challenging experiences. Grief can be overwhelming, and during this time, family members are often left with not only the emotional burden of the loss but also the physical belongings of the deceased. While it may seem natural to hold onto certain items to preserve memories, it’s important to be mindful of how certain objects can impact your emotional healing.

Here are four types of relics that experts suggest you should avoid keeping after the death of a family member:

1. Personal Items with a Strong Emotional Charge

Many of us have sentimental attachments to the personal belongings of those we love, such as their clothes, jewelry, or favorite objects. While it’s natural to want to hold onto these items as a reminder, these personal belongings can sometimes trigger overwhelming grief. Seeing the deceased's clothes or possessions may prolong the mourning process and make it more difficult to move forward.

Instead of keeping these items indefinitely, consider donating them to a charity or passing them on to someone who might appreciate them. This can give the items a new purpose while also helping you to release their emotional hold.

2. Items Related to Unresolved Negative Experiences

If a loved one passed away after a prolonged illness or had a difficult relationship with certain objects, keeping these items may bring up negative memories. Objects that were associated with their pain, suffering, or unresolved conflicts can make it more difficult for you to find peace. For instance, keeping the medication bottles or medical devices used during their final days might hinder your ability to heal emotionally.

Instead, it might be healthier to part with these items and focus on the positive memories and experiences shared with the loved one. This can allow you to cherish the good times without being weighed down by negativity.

3. Photos That Feel Overwhelming

While photographs are often treasured as a way to preserve memories, some images might be too painful to look at after a loved one has passed away. Photographs taken in the final stages of their life, or those that capture particularly emotional moments, may cause more distress than comfort.

If you find yourself unable to view these photos without intense sadness or pain, it might be wise to store them out of sight for a while. You can revisit them once the grieving process becomes more manageable, or you may decide to honor their memory in other ways, like creating a tribute or scrapbook that focuses on happier moments.

4. Unused or Unnecessary Items

In many cases, items like unused gifts, unopened letters, or materials that the deceased was never able to use or finish (such as work or personal projects) can bring up feelings of what was lost. Holding on to these items can sometimes be an emotional burden as they represent things left undone.

Rather than holding on to these objects as a reminder of things that were never completed, consider disposing of or repurposing them. It’s important to remember that while these items may have significance, they don’t define the person's legacy or your connection with them.

Healing and Moving Forward

Grief is a personal and unique journey, and there is no right or wrong way to navigate it. However, holding onto certain objects can prolong the healing process by keeping you emotionally tethered to the past. By letting go of physical relics that have strong emotional charges or negative associations, you can create space for new memories and emotional healing.

It’s important to remember that you are not losing the person by parting with their belongings. What you keep are the memories and love you shared — those are the true treasures that will remain with you. Allow yourself the time and space to heal, and trust that it’s okay to release what no longer serves your emotional well-being.