Parenting’s hard. And it doesn’t get any easier when you become a step-parent to a kid who seems to deal with everything by getting into trouble.
An anonymous Reddit user, a parent to his own two kids and a step-father to another one, recently went to the Am I The A-Hole community to share a story of how his step-son trashed his biological daughter’s book collection, in response to which he refused to let the kid return until he makes amends.
This didn’t fly well with the step-son’s actual father and he’s being pressured into letting it go. So, he asked the lovely Redditors whether he’s wrong.
More Info: Reddit
Parenting’s hard. And it doesn’t get any easier when you’re a step-parent
Image credits: Carol VanHook
So, the Reddit user, with whom Bored Panda got in touch, is a father to his own 12-year-old daughter from another partnership, a father to a 2-year-old with his wife, and a step-father to the wife’s 16-year-old son from another marriage.
The son, Levi, wanted to borrow a camera from the daughter, Sarah, but she refused to lend it to him. In response to this, he effectively destroyed her beloved book collection by throwing it into a pool.
And this Reddit user asked the internet if he was wrong to not allow his step-son to return home because he destroyed his daughter’s books
Image credits: u/throw4privacy5
He is known to throw away stuff that belongs to people over small arguments, but enough is enough. The step-dad discussed a punishment with the mom, but before that could happen, Levi ran away, as he always does whenever in trouble, to his biological dad, who’d typically come back and yell at the step-dad.
You see, the biological dad demanded there’d be no punishment because it wasn’t Levi’s fault he was acting this way—he did so because he and Susan were mean to him. He also said he won’t let Levi come back until he is forgiven, and the step-dad flipped it around, saying he’s not to return until he makes amends.
Image credits: u/throw4privacy5
The step-dad holds that the kid has to learn a lesson, that there are consequences for one’s actions and that he needs to be held accountable for the things he does, especially if it hurts someone. But what the biological parent is doing is trying to negotiate a scenario where he’d get away with it.
You can imagine where this could lead to in the long run. This is besides the fact that his older daughter is being blatantly bullied, not just by the son but by his biological dad too, so it’s only fair that the step-dad steps in and does everything he can so she doesn’t get scarred for life.
Image credits: u/throw4privacy5
The Am I The A-Hole community responded, first with over 27,500 upvotes as well as over 60 Reddit awards, and then with over 5,300 comments discussing the matter.
While the Reddit user was reluctant to share this story, but the community was actually super helpful, as he explained: “At first, I was very hesitant about sharing my story on there for several reasons, but, my God, there were a ton of helpful responses that definitely helped me figure out what to do moving forward in this situation.”
Image credits: u/throw4privacy5
The final verdict was that the Reddit user is not the a-hole here, saying that this is flat-out bullying that needs to be punished, and that the daughter has to be protected against such behavior. Besides, something that was hers, cherished, was destroyed just because someone was unhappy. That is just unfair.
“There’s still plenty of pressure, specifically from my in-laws, to let my stepson come home,” elaborated the dad. “Some even mentioned getting a lawyer involved because they think what I’m doing is not OK, but I’m still standing my ground and right now declining any messages from my stepson’s dad that contain what looked to me like threats and most of them are saved in case I need them in the future. My stepson is still staying with his dad. His mom visits everyday.”
People ruled that the step-dad is not the bad guy here
As you might have guessed, the fact that story went viral, came as a surprise to the dad:
“I did not expect that and it was shocking to see how many people went through the same situation. I have barely read about 50 to 70 comments, but hearing people who had the same experience mostly giving advice certainly helped me better understand the situation and opened my eyes on many things that I did not consider before sharing my story.”
He continued: “I’m just so overwhelmed and grateful for everyone who offered their support—I also had people offering to help with replacing some of the books and I’ve contacted 2 of them so far so this particular issue is being taken care of thanks to this community. It’s really great to see this much support from people that aren’t family or close friends. It’s very overwhelming.”
You can check out some of the best responses to this story below, as well as read more in the thread here. But before you go, let us know your thoughts on this and how you would have attempted to manage this situation in the comment section below!
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