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Grab your black duster, whatever weapon you’re comfortable with, and get ready to kick some Supe arse because The Boys are back in town.
That’s right after months of waiting The Boys season two is finally streaming on Amazon (or at least the first three episodes are) and in the words of Billy Butcher himself, they’re ‘f*cking diabolical’, in a good way though.
Of course, it’s been such a long time since the first season finished you’ve probably forgotten what happened to our beloved team of f*ck ups and ne’er-do-well, but don’t worry we’ve got you covered with a quick refresher.
AdvertObviously spoilers ahead for the first season of The Boys…Hughie And The Boys
Hughie Campbell’s life was changed forever when one day a Supe moving faster than a speeding bullet turned his girlfriend Robin into pavement jam, an incident which put him on a collision course with Billy Butcher and The Boys.
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Lost and wanting revenge on the callous Supe who killed Robin, Hughie finds himself recruited by Billy, a hyper-violent vigilante with a predilection for two things; saying ‘f*ck’, and killing ‘superheroes’.
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To achieve their goal of taking down The Seven, Billy and Hughie recruit a ramshackle team made up of; a drug-addled gunrunner named Frenchie, Mothers Milk who’s a half devoted family man half badass, and a superpowered girl called Kimiko who’s a match for even the toughest member of The Seven.
They are The Boys… even though one of them’s a girl.
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Of course, taking down evil superheroes isn’t easy and last we saw the ‘f*cking Spice Girls’ things weren’t looking too hot for them. They’d been labelled fugitives, abandoned by Billy who’d gone to get his revenge on Homelander, and Frenchie, Mothers Milk and Kimiko were all captured by the CIA.
Thankfully Hughie with a little help from Starlight managed to rescue them and they escaped, but it’s clear that going into season two The Boys are going to be up sh*t creek without a canoe let alone a paddle.
Billy And HomelanderAdvert
As charming as he is rude Billy Butcher, the not-so-beloved, foul-mouthed leader of The Boys, has spent the last few years desperately trying to take down The Seven and Vought, the company behind superheroes.
In fact, it’s his hatred of Supes that led him to recruit Hughie and reform his old team, the titular Boys. But throughout the first season, it became obvious that while Billy f*cking despises those with superpowers he reserves the bulk of his bile for the worst of them all, the f*cking diabolical Homelander.
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Billy hates Homelander – who’s basically Superman if Clark Kent was raised in a lab by a scientist whose idea of a good time was giving Kal-El a Kryptonite enema – because he believes that he raped and murdered his wife Becca. Or at least that’s what he thought happened.
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In fact, it was revealed towards the end of season one that Homelander’s handler/mother figure/lover (it’s f*cked up) Madelyn Stillwell had secreted Becca away after she fell pregnant with Homelander’s superpowered baby.
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As you can imagine Homelander didn’t like having his baby hidden from him, so he burned out the back of Stillwell’s head with his laser vision as punishment, I guess The Hulk isn’t the only superhero you won’t like when he’s angry.
The first season then ended with potentially the most twisted family reunion in television history, and an excruciating cliffhanger, when Homelander took Billy to Becca and introduced himself to his long lost son. What happens next? I’ve no clue but I bet it involves violence…
Hughie And Starlight
With all the horrible, horrible, things The Boys and The Seven get up to there is thankfully one bright spot that lights up the darkness, the appropriately named Starlight.
Starlight had a tough time of it in the first season after she joined The Seven, and learned that the ‘Champions of the Innocent’ were less concerned with saving people and more concerned with how their newest action figures were selling.
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While The Seven and Vought did what they could to break her, she managed to overcome them, outing those who abused her (I’m looking at you Deep you brine covered porpoise f*cker), standing up for what she believed in, and even learning the truth about her powers.
Along the way she also managed to save Hughie from despair, by showing him that this new life of vengeance and violence isn’t so great and offering the promise of a normal life (or at least as normal as life can be when one of you can throw energy bolts).
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Unfortunately like anything The Boys touch Hughie and Starlight’s relationship turned to sh*t eventually, when Billy shot her with an assault rifle (it’s fine she’s bulletproof), so we can’t imagine she’ll be too keen to get back together in season two.
That said though Starlight did rescue Hughie and The Boys from A-Train as they escaped a Vought black site, so who knows what the future holds for these star(light) crossed lovers? Although I imagine A-Train won’t be very happy about her accidentally causing him to have a heart attack…
The Seven And Vought
The Seven, Earth’s not so mightiest heroes, had a bit of a sh*t time in the first season of The Boys if we’re being honest, as did their corporate overlords Vought.
Almost immediately Billy Butcher and The Boys managed to take out a member when – in the second bloody episode – Hughie detonated poor Translucent’s butt plug bomb, turning him into extra, chunky, meat, salsa, leaving a convenient gap in the team for a new Supe.
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Things got worse when Starlight outed The Deep as the creepy, sexual, bottom feeder he is, and Stillwell banished the alleged Lord of the Seven Seas (real name Kevin) to Sandusky on a seemingly ‘temporary sabbatical’ from The Seven.
Despite his best efforts to get back on the team it soon became clear Vought has no intention of ever letting him, or his creepy dolphin friends, back on the team, not that we imagine that’ll stop him trying.
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Meanwhile, A-Train, ‘the World’s fastest d*ckhead’ kick-started the entire story when he accidentally turned Hugie’s girlfriend Robin into a blood smoothie, and soon found himself battling drug addiction thanks to his reliance on Compound V, which he needed to maintain his speed.
A-Train spent a good portion of the first series enduring humiliation after humiliation; he was made to kill his girlfriend, he had his leg broken like a dry twig by Kimiko, and eventually – just when he had The Boys on the ropes – he got his ass handed to him by Starlight and suffered a heart attack.
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Yeah, it was a bad year for A-Train, but it was worse for Vought. Not only did they have to babysit the superpowered f*ck ups they call The Seven, but they also had to contend with The Boys who learned Vought’s dirty little secret.
You see Supes aren’t born, they’re made, specifically by dosing babies with huge amounts of Compound V when they’re born, which gives the children incredible powers.
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Billy’s convinced that when people find out that Supes are nothing more than ‘roided up lab rats in tights that this ‘Watergate sized sh*t sandwich’ will bring the whole Vought Empire crumbling down.
Could he be right? Well, it’s only a matter of time before the truth gets out and we can’t imagine it’ll be a good day for Vought’s share prices when it does…
Super Terrorists
Vought and The Seven spent an awful lot of time in the first season desperately trying to get Supes into the military.
They blackmailed senators, had people murdered, and Homelander even went so far as to use his and Queen Maeve’s botched rescue of a highjacked plane as propaganda to get the bill through Congress.
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Unfortunately even that wasn’t enough to convince the armed forces that having a man who’s bulletproof, or can melt tanks with his eyes, is worth having in khaki. This forced Homelander to take some more ‘unconventional’ steps to get those with Compound V in their veins into the army.
The Star-Spangled wanker went and gave Compound V to the Islamic State, who used it to turn Naquib into a super durable, living bomb, with enough power to wipe out a military base single handily.
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Sure it got Supes into the military, but America’s enemies now able to make their own super terrorists (or should that be supervillains?), and we’re confident things are only going to get more ‘explosive’, as more and more super-powered lunatics crawl out of the woodwork.
The Boys is streaming now exclusively on Amazon Prime.
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