The first thing we need to consider before building a relationship with someone is their character. Only people with good character are worth befriending and trusting. Associating with those who have poor character will only lead to endless trouble in the future.

To know whether someone has good character, we can judge them through the way they talk. If someone often talks in the following four ways, they definitely have bad character. It's best to avoid them as much as possible.

1.   Enjoys "stepping" on others' pain

People are often connected by words. A tactful person knows how to communicate appropriately, while a rude person says whatever comes to mind. If someone knows how to talk, they will be mindful of other people's feelings.

When others are disappointed, they will say something comforting to cheer them up and will never bring up their own successes. When others are sad, they will patiently listen.

However, in reality, there are always those who like to show off. No matter what they do, they always want to appear superior to others. One of my colleagues, because she married a wealthy man, would always talk at the office about the expensive bag her husband bought, the brand of car they drove, or how big their house was. Meanwhile, there were many new graduates in the office who felt uncomfortable hearing this.

You could say that people like this are around you only to take advantage of you, not to treat you sincerely. Only those who are genuinely kind on the inside are careful about how their words affect others. This is also a sign of someone with high emotional intelligence.

2.   Talks without conscience, says whatever they want

Conscience is the basic morality of a person. When someone speaks without any basic moral sense, they can be considered indifferent and cold-hearted.

I remember many years ago, during a discussion about the pressure that drives students to suicide, one of my classmates said that suicide was good because with so many people, the competition was tough, and losing one person meant less pressure. At that moment, I was truly speechless.

While everyone else felt sadness and sympathy, his indifference showed us what selfishness really looks like.

Being around people like this, you should never expect them to help you because their dark side outweighs their conscience. A person with a conscience would never say such extreme things.

3.   Makes promises but doesn’t keep them

A person who frequently makes promises but never follows through is, in the end, not reliable. They are only trying to flatter you and have no real intention of helping.

I once had a colleague like this. He was very intelligent but had a bad habit of procrastinating. Our boss assigned us a project that was urgent. I asked him if he could hand over his part by Monday, and he said yes. But on Monday, he said he wasn’t finished yet. The funny thing is, I only needed one day to finish my work, and with his intelligence, it wouldn’t have been hard at all. Because of him, our entire team got scolded.

No matter how smart you are, if you don’t keep your word and end up affecting others, you won’t mean anything in society.

4.   Bad-mouths others behind their backs

There’s a type of person who is “a Buddha on the outside but a snake at heart”—they appear to be cultured and kind but enjoy talking badly about others behind their backs.

This “two-faced” type of person is the most irritating. They are manipulative, like to exploit and divide people, while they themselves benefit from the situation.

You should absolutely avoid people like this because you’ll only end up being the one hurt. You’ll never know when they will “stab you in the back.” Instead, learn to retaliate appropriately so they know you’re not someone to be pushed around.

In general, social interaction is an art. Befriending people with similar values and good character will lead to a smoother life, but befriending the wrong people will only bring trouble. The best way to deal with such individuals is to show them you’re not easy to mess with, and then avoid them as much as possible.