Pops Fernandez admits the separation from Martin Nievera was one of her deepest heartaches.
The two met in 1982; were married in 1987; separated in 1999, following a third-party issue; and were officially annuled in 2000.
They have two children, Ram and Robin, now both based in the U.S.
Recalling how she moved forward from that chapter of her life, Pops says: “Yeah, I’m so proud of myself kasi isa yun sa napakasakit na nangyari sa buhay ko na na-hurdle ko.
“To be able to get over that and be okay with all of that, I was mighty proud of myself. I think not everyone can do that.”
Known for being good friends today, Pops thinks it helped that she and Martin have long been friends and have always worked together so well.
“The fact that even before we were just working on Penthouse Live, we’ve always been friends,” says Pops, referring to the time she and Martin started out as co-hosts in the defunct GMA-7 variety show that aired from 1982-1988.
Remarking: “It also helps a lot that we’re great partners on stage. Because we really enjoy performing together.
“It doesn’t even feel like work when we’re together. Wala kaming script. ‘Okay, whatever you wanna say.'”
As for settling their personal differences, Pops admits this took a long process.
“The healing part, in my case, it took forever. Akala ko nga I could not—not “forgive”; it’s such a heavy word—get over it.
“And it’s very hard to do that. So, when I chose to do it, unang-una, nag-shows muna kami, ta’s may konting alitan na naman. Hahaha!”
PEP.ph (Philippine Entertainment Portal), with Smart Parenting and Cosmo.ph, interviewed Pops when she visited the Summit Media office to promote her pre-Valentine concert, Always Loved, on February 9 and 10 at The Theatre at Solaire.
ON DEALING WITH ANGER
Pops goes on to say how frustrating it was to deal with her emotions over her failed marriage.
“I was saying kasi, pag may konti ka pang galit, you really can’t move on. Because you’re still bothered by that problem. So, ang hirap—galit, sadness, all the negative terms.
“Pag may slight pa nun, di ka pa talaga makaka-move on. Totoo yung sinasabi nila, bumabalik ka sa square one. Yung slight galit mo, ‘Galit na naman ako.’
“So, I always have to remind myself, ‘Oh my god, I’m so over that na.’
“Hanggang ngayon, minsan meron pa rin kaming mga tampuhan. That is just between us, ‘no?” Pops says candidly.
She remains firm about her decision not to bear grudges.
Admitting: “But it takes time. Healing always takes time.
“I always tell myself, ‘Tama na yan, okay na yan, pabayaan mo na.’ So, pag medyo feeling ko okay na ako, we’re okay again.”
She talks about what letting go of negative emotions has taught her.
“It’s for yourself. It’s also for them—kung sino man yung ka-repartee mo. But it’s mostly for yourself.
“I hate being angry. I hate being sad. I hate feeling kawawa. I hate being depressed.
“But, of course, sometimes di natin matatanggal because that’s normal. It’s really just a matter of how you deal with it.
“I’m normal. Tao lang ako. Pag nasasaktan ako, pag nagagalit ako, I have to deal with that first.”
Referring to her rekindled friendship with Martin, she adds: “Ta’s nag-shows uli kami. Nasabi ko, ‘Huh! Paulit-ulit lang na tampuhan. I-decide ko na talaga, ‘Eto na talaga.’ I think i felt so much better.”
ON BEING STRAIGHTFORWARD
PEP.ph tells Pops it’s hard to imagine her angry at someone. She always looks poised and soft-spoken when we see her in presscons.
She is always on movie star mode, something the public likes to see.
She quips that we can ask her personal assistant how she is when furious.
Adding: “I rarely get mad. But when I’m mad, I’m mad. Tapos, it takes a day or two days after, wala na.
“Unless the situation is so serious, that’s another story, nagigising ako the next day, ‘Bakit nga pala ako nagalit?’ I do a lot of self-check.”
Whereas before she’d keep her anger to herself, Pops says she has learned how to express anger.
“Pag galit ako, I’ll just say it, ‘Galit ako. Let’s not talk muna.’
“Di ko mapipilit sarili ko.
“Now, when I’m sad, I go to my friends. Dati, my kids. I pour my heart and soul to my friends para ma-release napi-feel ko.”
To date, not only do Pops and Martin enjoy a good working relationship, they also have a co-parenting status over their two children.
In the past few years, they have even come to terms with their blended family.
In 2020, they made headlines when Pops posted on Instagram a photo showing her with Martin’s former partner Katrina Ojeda and current girlfriend Anj Rosario.
They were joined by Pops and Martin’s son Sam as well as Katrina and Martin’s son Santino.
