Watching a parent grow older or face serious illness is one of the most emotionally difficult experiences a person can go through. Many adult

children sense when “something is changing,” yet feel unprepared for what those changes might mean. While every individual’s journey is

different, healthcare professionals recognize certain patterns that often appear as a person approaches the final stage of life.

Recognizing these signs is not about giving up hope - it is about understanding what may be happening, preparing emotionally and

practically, and ensuring your parent is surrounded by comfort, dignity, and love.

Below are four common signs that may indicate a parent is nearing the end of life, along with guidance on how to respond with care and

compassion.

1. Profound Fatigue and Extended Sleeping

One of the earliest and most noticeable changes is extreme tiredness. Your parent may sleep for long periods and appear awake only briefly.

Even simple activities - talking, eating, or sitting up may seem exhausting.

What’s Happening

As the body begins to conserve energy, it naturally reduces activity. Organs slow down, and the body prioritizes essential functions. This is a

normal physiological response and not something that can be reversed through rest or encouragement.

How You Can Help

• Allow them to sleep without guilt or pressure

• Speak softly and calmly when they are awake

• Sit with them quietly; your presence alone can be comforting

• Avoid insisting on conversation or activity

This stage often signals that the body is turning inward and letting go.

2. Decreased Appetite and Reduced Thirst

A parent nearing the end of life may eat very little or stop eating altogether. They may also drink less, even refusing water at times. This can

be especially distressing for loved ones, as feeding is often associated with care and survival.

What’s Happening

As digestion slows and the body’s need for energy decreases, hunger naturally fades. Forcing food or fluids can actually cause discomfort,

nausea, or choking.

How You Can Help

• Offer small sips or ice chips if they are comfortable

• Keep the mouth moist with lip balm or gentle swabs

• Focus on comfort rather than nutrition

• Reassure yourself that this is a natural process, not neglect

Letting go of the urge to “fix” this can be emotionally difficult, but it is often an act of compassion.

3. Changes in Awareness, Confusion, or Withdrawal

Many people nearing the end of life experience periods of confusion, disorientation, or reduced awareness. They may speak less, lose track of

time, or seem detached from their surroundings. Some may talk to people who are not physically present or recall distant memories.

What’s Happening

Reduced oxygen flow, changes in brain chemistry, and organ shutdown can affect cognition. Emotional withdrawal may also be a natural way

for a person to prepare internally for death.

How You Can Help

• Speak gently and clearly, even if they do not respond

• Avoid correcting or arguing if they seem confused

• Offer reassurance: “You are safe. I’m here.”

• Continue expressing love, gratitude, and forgiveness

Hearing is often believed to be one of the last senses to fade, so your words still matter.

4. Physical Changes in Breathing and Circulation

In the final stages, you may notice changes in breathing patterns - long pauses, shallow breaths, or irregular rhythms. Hands and feet may feel

cool, and skin color may change due to reduced circulation.

What’s Happening

As the heart and lungs slow down, the body redistributes blood to vital organs. Breathing becomes less efficient, and these changes are part

of the natural shutting-down process.

How You Can Help

• Keep them warm with light blankets

• Adjust pillows to ease breathing

• Stay calm; your emotional state can affect theirs

• Seek guidance from hospice or medical professionals if available

While these changes can be frightening to witness, they are usually not painful for the person experiencing them.

Preparing Yourself Emotionally

Knowing these signs does not make the experience easier—but it can make it less overwhelming.

Here are gentle ways to prepare:

• Say the things you don’t want left unsaid

• Share memories, even quietly

• Hold their hand, sit beside them, or simply be present

• Accept help from others - you don’t have to carry this alone

Grief often begins before loss occurs. This is called anticipatory grief, and it is normal.

When to Seek Support

If your parent is showing these signs, consider reaching out to:

• Hospice or palliative care services

• A healthcare provider for symptom management

• Counselors, spiritual advisors, or support groups

Professional support can help both your parent and your family navigate this time with greater peace and clarity.

Final Thoughts

The end of life is not just a medical event - it is a deeply human experience. While these signs may suggest that time is limited, they also offer

an opportunity: to be present, to love openly, and to honor a life that has shaped your own.

There is no perfect way to say goodbye. There is only kindness, presence, and compassion and those are always enough.

If you are walking this path, remember: you are not failing your parent by acknowledging reality. You are caring for them by meeting

them where they are.