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Facts 01/04/2025 18:40

Signs Your Husband Is Having an Affair

Maybe he’s less emotionally vulnerable, he doesn’t tell you his secrets or desires, or maybe he just stops talking about his day. Whatever the case may be, if you can’t get your husband to connect with you emotionally, it might be a sign he’s cheating.[1] Here are other signs he may be unfaithful:[2]

  • He seems to create fights to distance himself from you.[3]
  • You have a hard time connecting to him emotionally while you’re arguing.[4]
  • He doesn’t say “I love you” anymore.
  • He doesn’t have deep conversations with you.
  • He talks about your relationship ending.
  • You feel like he doesn’t really listen to you when you’re talking.
  • He stonewalls, or shuts down and stops responding to you.[5]
  • He stops confiding in you or seeking your advice.

When your partner gets a new job or picks up a new hobby, spending more weekends away from you might be normal. However, if he suddenly increases the time he spends out of the house or goes away for long periods of time when he hasn’t done so before, it might be a sign he’s cheating.[6] Here are other signs to watch out for:

  • He keeps a change of clothes in his car or at work.
  • He encourages you to go out alone more so you’re not at home.
  • He picks up a new hobby he hasn’t been interested in before.
  • He’s elusive about what he does when he’s not at home.
  • He’s frequently working longer hours at work.
  • He keeps tabs on your schedule more than he used to.[7]
  • There’s an unexplainable amount of miles on his car or the seats are in odd positions.
  • He constantly misses or is late for any appointments or dates you have together.
  • He brushes you off when you show interest in his new hobby. 

Infidelity can make your partner feel irritable, overwhelmed, or disconnected from you. Because of the guilt and the lying, he may have increased mood swings or find it challenging to manage his stress.[8] These signs can signal infidelity or other issues, like certain medical conditions, depression, or bipolar disorder.[9]

  • He has lower self-esteem or lacks self-confidence.[10]
  • He dodges your eye contact.
  • He stops noticing or complimenting you.[11]
  • He stops showing affection towards you, especially in front of other people.
  • He’s more negative than normal or more hyper critical of you.[12]
  • He gets defensive when you talk about affairs.
  • He seeks more danger or thrills now when he hasn’t before.
  • He comes home upset and blames it on something that hasn’t made him upset before.

If your spouse starts exercising and eating healthier out of nowhere, or if he’s never been obsessive about his appearance but now wears fashionable clothes and regularly checks himself out in the mirror, it might be a sign he’s trying to appear more attractive for someone else. Other signs include:[13]

  • Showing sudden interest in losing weight
  • Buying new clothes or wearing clothes you haven’t seen before
  • Dressing nicer than usual
  • Wearing a different (or more youthful) style of clothing

If your man smells different after he comes home than he did before he left, it might be a sign that he’s been with someone else. He might smell like someone else’s cologne or perfume, or he might have used a different shampoo or soap than he usually does. You might also notice these scent-related signs:[14]

  • His clothing smells like someone else.
  • He uses a new cologne, body wash, or soap you’ve never seen before.
  • He takes a shower as soon as he comes home.

Marriage is all about building trust.[15] If you constantly catch your husband in lies, it might be because he’s hiding something bigger. Likewise, if he flips the script and tries to gaslight you into thinking you’re forgetful or delusional to cover up his lies, he might be cheating.[16] Watch for these signs of gaslighting:[17]

  • Your husband makes you feel forgetful when you haven’t forgotten anything.
  • You feel like you’re always questioning your sanity.
  • You’re afraid to confront him about his behavior.
  • Your partner gets nervous when you ask him where he was or who he was with.
  • His friends seem anxious or nervous around you.
  • Your feelings are constantly invalidated by your husband.
  • Your gut is telling you one thing is true, and your partner is telling you the opposite.

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