Depending on the circumstances, this might be a parent, teacher, school counselor, coach, school administrator, or another responsible adult.
Parents can ask:
“If something upsetting happens at school and you cannot find your usual teacher, which adult could you talk to?”
Discussing this before a crisis helps children create a practical plan.
Teach them what to report
Children do not need to prove that something meets a formal definition of bullying before they can ask for help.
They can explain what happened, where it happened, who was involved, whether anyone witnessed it, and whether they feel safe.
For example:
“During lunch, three students kept calling me names. I asked them to stop, but they followed me and continued. I am worried it will happen again tomorrow.”
Specific information helps adults understand the pattern and decide what steps are necessary.
For repeated incidents, parents may keep a record of dates, locations, descriptions, witnesses, and any relevant messages or screenshots.
If the bullying occurs online, preserve evidence where appropriate before blocking or reporting the account. Avoid sharing humiliating content more widely.
What if the first adult does not help?
Children need to know that one unsuccessful conversation does not mean they must give up.
If the behavior continues, they can approach another trusted adult or ask their parents to contact the school. Parents can request a clear plan for preventing further incidents, supervising risky locations, supporting the child, and following up on whether the plan works.
The child should not be expected to manage the entire process alone.
If there are threats of serious injury, sexual harassment, extortion, physical assault, or other immediate safety concerns, adults should respond promptly and involve the appropriate authorities or professional services when needed.
What Parents Should Do When Their Child Reports Bullying
Teaching children skills is valuable, but parental action is equally important. A child should not be expected to solve a persistent problem by changing their body language or choosing better words.
The first conversation can influence whether they feel safe sharing future experiences.
Step 1: Listen before giving advice
When a child says they are being bullied, resist the urge to immediately explain what they should have done differently.
Instead, try:
“I'm glad you told me.”
“That sounds really upsetting.”
“You don't deserve to be treated that way.”
“Can you tell me what happened?”
Give the child time to describe the situation. They may not explain everything in order, especially if they are frightened or embarrassed.
Avoid interrogating them with a rapid series of questions. The first goal is to understand their experience and help them feel supported.
Step 2: Make it clear that the bullying is not their fault
Children may blame themselves because of their appearance, academic ability, personality, disability, family circumstances, or interests.
Parents can acknowledge that social situations can be complicated without suggesting that the child caused the mistreatment.
A useful message is:
“You and I can work on ways to help you feel safer and more confident, but the decision to bully someone is not your fault.”
This distinction is essential. Learning new skills may help a child respond to difficult situations, but responsibility for bullying belongs to the person engaging in the harmful behavior.
Step 3: Assess immediate safety
Ask whether the child feels safe going to school, riding the bus, attending activities, or using online platforms.
Find out whether there have been threats, physical attacks, injuries, coercion, or fear of retaliation.
If a child is in immediate danger, prioritize getting them to a safe place and contacting the appropriate emergency or safeguarding services.
Do not wait for a formal school meeting before addressing an urgent threat.
Step 4: Work with the school
When bullying occurs at school, contact the appropriate teacher or school administrator and describe the behavior clearly.
Rather than relying only on a general request to “keep an eye on things,” ask what concrete steps will be taken.
Depending on the circumstances, the plan may include increased supervision in specific locations, a designated adult the child can approach, support during transitions, and a process for reporting new incidents.
Agree on a reasonable follow-up date to review whether the behavior has stopped.
Schools should also take care to avoid responses that expose the targeted child to retaliation or make them feel responsible for resolving the conflict through a forced meeting with the other student.
Step 5: Watch for changes in well-being
Bullying can affect a child's emotional and physical health.
Parents should pay attention to persistent sleep problems, changes in appetite, repeated stomachaches or headaches, withdrawal from activities, school avoidance, declining academic performance, or unusual distress.
These signs do not prove that bullying is occurring, but they warrant a calm conversation and, when appropriate, professional guidance.
If a child expresses thoughts of self-harm or suicide, take the statement seriously and seek urgent professional help. If there is immediate danger, stay with the child and contact emergency services.
Why “Just Ignore Them” Is Not Always Enough
Ignoring a minor provocation may sometimes prevent an argument from developing. But it is not a reliable solution for repeated bullying, particularly when the behavior involves threats, physical aggression, coercion, or a significant imbalance of power.